|| Note: We did write this post on July 21st – but had a bit of a busy week, so late update… enjoy! ||
Over the last 2 days Katie and I have been wrapping up on the NLP Business Diploma. In the latter 2 days of this course the techniques that have been covered lend themselves to being the perfect managerial tools. Whilst on the course we focused on the pure form of teaching and exercising these skills and once the delegates had grasped the concept it was time to apply it in a work context.
As we progressed through the training it was evident that the same themes were cropping up again and again as to how all of these techniques were of benefit.
You can only change you
You can only change what you are in control of and the only thing you are really in control of, is yourself. You can’t control what other people do. How they’re thinking, where they’re going and the decisions that they are making. You can put forward a really compelling point of view and your contribution stops there.
So instead of trying to change situations and control the decisions that people make, it would be really beneficial to change what you are in control of. That’s you. Your mentality, decisions, approaches, ways of thinking, etc. The result of this is that you are becoming really flexible as a communicator and aren’t restricted by a limited way of thinking.
Rapport is the basis of all communication
The answer is in the title here. If you aren’t in rapport, then you aren’t going to be able to get results because you aren’t really communicating with people. You can try all you want but no rapport = no results.
This is what we focused on before each technique that our delegates did. It’s taking that time to pause and check you are in rapport with the people that you are talking to. You might find that you do it unconsciously and that’s great because you are at an unconscious level of competence where it’s second nature to you.
Alternatively, if you’re not in rapport then this quick check brings into your awareness that fact and can explain why you might be finding it hard to get points across. Or why you’re hitting some walls in your meetings, at work, with colleagues, etc.
You need to establish rapport before you move onto your agenda in any interaction otherwise you will find it goes nowhere near as smoothly as you thought it might.
Understand the other person’s model of the world
This crucial point saw a lot of change being brought about in the training as people started to understand how their thinking was changing and the penny dropped. When they listened to what the other individual was actually saying vs what they may or may not be thinking then a lot more became clearer. Once mind reading what the problem might be was removed from the equation they were forced to think in a different way and learnt more about how their mind processes information.
We also took a look at representational systems and how different individuals access and process information in a visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital way. This led to more doors being opened about how people view the world and how characteristics of these systems are seen in people.
Alongside this the use of clean language and changing chunk sizes of information gave a rounded approach to looking at how people represent their model of the world and think about decisions and ideas. Once they understood and had a more cohesive knowledge of how to apply this knowledge, a new level is accessed. By taking it into their professional life to give more effective classes, manage ‘challenging’ members of staff/ line managers, work with colleagues they move towards a more open and flexible way of communicating.
Throughout the entirety of this course we saw everyone at some point have their ‘ah ha!’ moment in an area of their professional life and themselves. To us that was an incredible result and reinforces our ethos of bringing value to the table to facilitate learning of both their own model of the world and others.
Once you understand a simple set of guidelines to follow you’ll find that communication and getting win-win results becomes effortless and easy. The art of effective management becomes less like the appearance of a 5-year-old’s finger painting and transforms into a world class Monet.